Have i ever told,,, if i really am affraid to start a new relationship again?????

Am i deserve???

I don't think i am.... In my age, everything that i dream about are just flew away... I don't even have a chance for everything i want to be... That's why i hate myself... Why i never had any confidenfe myself....Why i always.be so stupid??? Now since everything has change... And all of my dream are gone, all that will stay forever in my life is just a regret...

Help Me

Can't i live happily without any worry?!!?

Weird Confession....

This really is weird...(It's Totally Weird)

I fell in love..... (I know falling in Love is not Weird), but I fell in love to someone who doesn't even know that I'm exist in this world, i fell in love to someone who is really Great and really hard to reach.... i fell in love to someone who has a different world from me (Of course he is Human... lol...) but we're just like sky and earth,,,, I fell in love to someone that i don't even deserve to fell in love with,,, he's too high, he is too famous, and he is too perfect,,,

But Hey... there is nothing is impossible in this world 1-100 maybe i still have 0,001 % chance to get him.

I know i'm weird, but just believe that he will know it someday, somewhere, i don't know... :)

Just Ordinary

I'm Just an Ordinary Girl,

A lil bit Tomboy, Love Rock, and Watching Movies (My DVD Collections)

I Love Music Because

Let me tell you why i love to listening to music so much??

- Why I love Music :

• Because music is my best friend,
• I have no one but music who always listen to me,
• Everybody doesn't like making friends with me,
• Music is my trash can,
• Since i have no friends to hang out with,
• My room is my place to hang out and music is my hang out friend :)
• Eventhough nobody likes me, but when i sing, i could forget that matter for a while,
• I can't sleep without listening to the music,

I'd like to thank to everyone who creating a great music, and thank's to the music itself, because without you, i might not standing until now, and i may not have a dream..... thank you so much....

My Confession

What was it called? Depression?

Oh...I'll tell you something about me...

and, here we go...

Hey... it's about me....

I sometimes get mad suddenly

I don't even know why, that's all just happened suddenly...

I just feel so insecure with myself

Feels like no one understand me..

I know if i'm stubborn, sucks, childish selfish or anything bad that people think about me,

I just actually need someone who can understand me..

Sometimes it feels better, when you got mad to yourself, you just hurt your body,

but i know it's not right,

but sometimes and sometimes, it could make you feel better,

or screaming, or singing, or crying....

I don't know what is better....

Oh that's all i think...

Thank you.... xD hahaha

Can It really happen?

Can 26yo woman still dreaming of become a "Singer", can she be trained or learning about music, vocal and make a debut after? Is she too old for that, is she allowed to try to the audition which is say that no age restrictions (just formality, but infact there is age restrictions for that), can she have a chance to achieve her dream, or should she just living in her dream?

Some people say, Dream and make it happen, but if there is no chance for her at all,even if she tries, will it happened to her???

some dream come with money( if you're rich, you can be anything you want, do some lesson,take some course, then become what you want), some come from luck (if they scout you, then you could be what you want to be now), and a few are from talent.

And how if it's for someone, with no money, no luck and don't know what her/his talent is, but she/he just have passion and dream to achieve, will that chance come to that person also?

It's 1:1.000.000, depends on what people will see you,,,, just like me, I'm just living my dream, i have no money, have no luck, and i don't even know if i had a talent or not, all i know is, i just wanna be a singer and to be on stage since i was a kid... That's all i had, the willingness with no chance :)

if it's too late for me, why this dream become bigger? If it's too late for me, why some people just come and gimme a courage?? I can't even dare to bury it (My dream).... i just want to make it come true.

Is He Thinking of Me?

Is He Thinking of Me..
(This was made in the end of 2005 or on early 2006, i don't know the exact time hehehe,,,, it's all about my first love..^^),

Is He Thinking of Me..

When i'm telling him about my feeling, he said that he feel the same,

so...

We make up...We're couple now...

But that sweet feeling just saty for a while..

Is he thingmking of me?

When i'm here all alone.

Am i still special in his heart?

Still he remembered all the good time we had?

I know this time will come,sooner or later...

There's a girl close to him,

They're really have a good time together,

So who am i here?

Am i just puppet to entertain him?

Is he ever thinking of me?

When i'm crying at night.

When my faith already broke.

Is he ever thinking of me?

Does he know my feeling?

No he's not,

He never thought about me

and never know what i'm feeling inside.

His happy now with her,

I should let him go,

and make him have a happy love.

So....

Goodbye..... My Love, My first Love...

Let everything be our sweet memories

Hope You have a wonderful life ^.^

Broken Dreams

Broken Dreams

It's all about her..

a girl who wants to be herself,

a girl who has a dream,

But there....

There are so many things resist her

But there....

There are people said that she has no hope, useless and never can do anything right,

Nobody support her, even her family,

It's all about the broken dreams

The only dream that she wants to achieve so much,

The only dream that comes since she was a child,

The only dream that makes her strong,

Just because maybe there is still someday,,

the day that someone would help her to reach it,

But,

Time goes so fast,

She's getting older now, even the dream never growing older

and never disappear,

She realise that there's no chance for her anymore,

even she tries, the door is always closed for her

It's all about her broken dreams,

she's giving up,

cause,

 she knows that she can't have it.

"This Song Saved My Life"

 

I want to start by letting you know this
because of you my life has a purpose
you helped be who i am today
I see myself in every word you say
Sometimes it feels like nobody gets me
Trapped in a world where everyone hates me
There's so much that I'm going through
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you

[Chorus]
I was broken
I was choking
I was lost
This Song saved my life
I was bleeding stopped believing
could have died
This song saved my life
I was down
I was drowning
but it came on just in time
this song saved my life

Sometimes I feel like you've known me forever
You always know how to make me feel better
Because of you my dad and me
are so much closer than we used to be
You're my escape when I'm stuck in a small town
I turn you up whenever I feel down
you let me know like no one else
That it's ok to be myself

[Chorus]

You'll never know what it means to me
that I'm not alone
That I'll never have to be

[Chorus 2x]